Last month you were introduced to SMART goals, a streamlined process of insuring that the goals you choose will be just challenging enough to produce the results you want.  In this issue we will explore the ABCs of goal-setting.  These simple guidelines offer a holistic approach to following through on your SMART goals.  Getting into the Valentine's Day spirit, our sample goal will be giving and receiving more love.  

The word "love' can mean many things.  For our purposes, love refers to feelings of goodwill,  benevolence, generosity of spirit, unconditional acceptance, and kindness.  Unlike romantic love, which is a specific connection between two people, these other forms of love can be shared with everyone, even people we don't know.  Indeed, there is some evidence that positivity, productivity, and creativity flourish when we choose to express love unconditionally.  

 

A - Awareness
Awareness is the starting point for all change.  You wouldn't intentionally walk through life with your eyes closed, yet we all tune out some of the sights, sounds, thoughts and feelings that surround us and emanate from within us.  We have no choice!  If we didn't filter and manage the constant barrage of data, we would become overwhelmed and incapacitated.  But we can and should choose to focus on the qualities that we want to cultivate and on the results that we want more of.  Metaphorically speaking, the grass is always greener where it's watered!
 There are many mindfulness practices that increase awareness, but you can start with the simple act of choosing where you put your attention.  For example, choose to notice when you pay someone a genuine compliment,  choose to notice if you offer a reassuring word or touch to a colleague who is having tough day. Savor the positive glow that accompanies your awareness.  You probably generate much goodwill throughout the day, but without attention, these events may go undetected.  Awareness is like a flashlight.  It illuminates what is present.  When you make it a practice to illuminate and notice your acts of kindness and unconditional love, they seem to multiply.  Begin to see yourself for the kind and thoughtful person that you are. If you would like to explore these practices in a more structured way, consider reading Loving-Kindness by Sharon Salzberg or visit the Insight Meditation website.

B - Back-up
Who will support you on your journey of change?   We are not Marlboro Men.  You know what I mean, the steely, aloof, loner sitting on top of his horse, smoking a cigarette.  He doesn't need anyone's help. He can do it all by himself.  Kind of.  Intelligent, progressive thinkers have exposed him as a myth.   Everyone can accomplish more when they collaborate with the right people.  The road is easier, more fun, and full of pleasant surprises when you share it with others of like mind.  As we ponder your path to ideal health and well-being, who is walking beside you?  Who is cheering you on and backing you up?  Good friends?  Inspirational reading material?  If you are serious about creating long-term change, a free wellness coaching session is the best way to insure your success.

C - Commitment
Commitment is made possible through awareness of what we want for ourselves and back-up to keep us going through the tough times.  But what causes us to make a commitment in the first place?  As I have mentioned before, this is not a one-size-fits-all world.  Our initial reason for practicing to be a kinder, gentler version of ourselves may stem from a desire to attract more friends or have more influence at home or in the workplace.  We may simply enjoy the feeling we get from engaging the world with an open heart.  Over time, as we stick with our commitment despite setbacks and difficulties, we find that our new behaviors and attitudes require less energy to sustain.  There is a subtle shift from "what we want to do" to "who we truly are".  Having incorporated a more loving approach into our daily mindset, and we can move on to new challenges and commitments, knowing that we have what it takes to follow through.

Next month our topic will be "Hope Springs Eternal".  Hope is the antidote to despair and a catalyst for action.